The thing about aromantic representation in media — or maybe representation’s not the right word, but certainly about making media that doesn’t continue to diminish and erase aromantics — is that it’s not just about making aromantic characters (who aren’t villainous or inhuman), although that’s certainly nice to have. It’s also about not presenting romance as essential to happiness or essential to humanity, and about presenting romance as equal to other types of relationship rather than romance as the peak of emotional intimacy and affection. (Making it clear that there are other kinds of love than romantic love will go a long way.)
A friendship turning romantic is not an upgrade; there’s nothing lesser about friendship. It’s just a change. It might lead to the characters becoming closer and caring more for each other than they previously did, but a switch from friendship to romance is not a prerequisite for this increase in closeness. It’s just different, not better. This is why “they’re too close to be JUST friends” is so aggravating to hear. If you want to convince me that the relationship between two characters is romantic or proto-romantic rather than platonic, come up with an argument for it being qualitatively different, because even The Sims knows that you need to do more than max out your relationship meter to turn a relationship romantic.
It’s not just about having aromantic characters, it’s about having an atmosphere that isn’t hostile to aromantics. Things like the message that you can’t have a close relationship (or a close relationship between non-relatives) without it either eventually turning romantic or being romantic all along, and that romance is something everyone wants or needs even if they aren’t currently pursuing it: these are what make for such a hostile atmosphere.
Mikael Blomkvist from the Millenium series
Thank you anon :)
Anonymous asked: Hi, you may have heard this one before, but there's a webcomic with an aro-ace main character, it's called Supernormal Step and it's pretty great.
I haven’t, but thank you so much for the recommendation. :)
People who identify as ace or aromantic, please message me privately(i will retain anonymity)! Im writing a script right now in which the main character is ace and learns to accept her differences instead of give into pressures of society. I want to give you a voice on stage, but dont want to do it wrong. Any experiences or stories would be greatly appreciated, lovelies!
Anonymous asked: Excuse me - in the book I'm currently writing, the female main character is aromantic, but it's set during a period where being aromantic wasn't really acknowledged at all. Is there a good way for her to express that she's aromantic without knowing the term for it?
A time period when being aromantic isn’t acknowledged…You mean this time period? </cynical joke>
Paraphrases are your friend. Have her state her confusion, apathy, dislike, or weirded-out-ness about things like romance, courtship, and falling in love. Some suggestions:
- "I don’t think I’m the sort of person who is suited for falling in love."
- "I’ve never understood the appeal of romance."
- "Romance just baffles/annoys/bores/disturbs me."
- "I don’t see what the big deal is about love. I’d be quite happy being single / marrying a good friend instead."
- "I’ve never fallen in love, and I can’t see myself ever doing that."
- "If I ever love someone, I think it will be the same kind of love that I have for my friends, not the passionate romance that poets write about."
- "Romance never made any sense to me."
It’s going to be very interesting, when you think about it, because a lot of what is now coded as ‘romantic’ in very dependent on culture. So it may help if you do research on the time period (and just as important, cultural setting) you’re talking bout.. Even terms such as ‘romance’ and ‘love (and more than likley ‘marriage) are not going to carry the same meaning
dystopia where romantic love is a taboo or not allowed
characters are aro
not actually a dystopia at all